he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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