omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
