I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
