Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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