Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize
