Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize