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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  At least make sure they are 18

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  All I've ever wanted to do in life is right

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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• 

  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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• (631): View more from New York

  if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

  (516): View more from New York

  .org?

  (631): View more from New York

  yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.

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• 

  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.

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• (227): View more from Maryland

  I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.

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