wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
