A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
