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• (352): View more from Florida

  Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

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• (315): View more from New York

  Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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• (619): View more from California

  you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.

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