At least make sure they are 18
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.