Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
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My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now