I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
