Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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