Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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