Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
