Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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