Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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