I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize