So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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