it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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