i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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