Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
