And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
