so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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