Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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