i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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