Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize