I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize