does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
