I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Randomize
