i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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