I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
