dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
