If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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