last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
