I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
