God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
