Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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