Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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