return my video game
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize