There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i think my cat just said my name.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize