I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
