She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
