also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
