I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
