Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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