i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Randomize
