He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
