I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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