just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
