You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
