So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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