Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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