I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize