"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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