you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
