DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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