Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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