Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
