he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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