Nicole vs. Life
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You are a genius and a whore.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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