I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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