I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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