hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
