You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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