I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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