I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize