Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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