you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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