Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
