none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
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its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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